Happy FIRST Birthday Carter Boy

Dear Carter Boy,

I can't believe you are a year old! Although some days felt like months now that it is here it feels like it went so quick. So much has happened in the last year and you have been amazing through it all. I think all the time about all that you have to do each day and it really amazes me. Your days are pretty jam packed with appointments, breathing treatments, feeding trials, therapy, and whatever else we have going on that most babies I am pretty sure would be so grumpy, but your not. You really are the most mellow and happy little guy. You bring such a special spirit in our home and we feel beyond blessed to have you in our family.

I am pretty sure that your big brother is your biggest fan. Heavenly Father knew exactly what he was doing when he gave you Boston as an older brother. I can't tell you enough how great he is to you. He is so patient with you and "helps" you do so much! He is so patient with the all the time that your stuff requires. Ever since you learned to sit up this last month he has been on cloud nine! He asks to "play" with you all the time now. In fact he wants me to leave you two alone to play and always tell me that he will "keep an eye on you". I hope that you guys will always be best of friends and the bond you have now will never leave.

Have I ever told you that you have the biggest, bluest, prettiest eyes ever! My favorite time is when you are in the bath and your eyelashes are wet so you can see how long they are. Pretty much you should know that I am a sucker for your eyes. People always mention that when you really look at them they feel like you can see right inside them. There have been so many times in your life that I wish I could see what you see, because even though you don't speak your eyes tell so much. You have been blessed many times to have angels watching over you and I can't count the times that I knew someone was with you by just looking in your eyes. Have I ever mentioned that your hair is SO curly and grows SO fast. We have given you I think six hair cuts. We only trim the top, because I just grows into this big wave curl thing and I'm sure if we kept you would look back someday and ask what we were thinking.

O and that smile. Well it gets me too. I love your gummy no teeth (by the way when are those darn teeth going to come? I swear you have been "teething" for months!) drooly grin. You give smiles so freely and we do anything for them. That cute mouth of your has come a long way. You used to not let anything touch your mouth. You will now bring almost everything to your mouth. If only we could get you to swallow a little bit more of the things that I put in your mouth. We have started baby food and I am pretty sure you love the taste of it, but you don't love it in your mouth if that's even possible. You are doing so much better on your bottle. We have introduced you to a sippy cup and for about a week you did amazing with it. Not sure why, but you suddenly decided that you didn't like it anymore. At speech we have been working on both the bottle and sippy cup as well as baby food. Just last week we tried giving you drinks from a cup and once you actually got the milk in your mouth you were a fan of that. Now if you could just make up your mind of which method you prefer to be fed we would be doing good. You are pretty much still on a newborn feeding schedule, being fed every three hours and on a continuous feed during the night. You have definitely chunked up lately so I think we will start weaning the night feed because we were only using it to beef you up.

A funny story that I think totally sums up your life was one day in PT your therapist was trying to get you to do something and put a big, loud, bright toy in front of you and you could have cared less. I then put your suction tube in front of you and you literally dove for it. You don't have much interest in toys, but you LOVE your tubes. Is that why you won't let the O2 go is because you like the tube? Speaking of PT I think we are finally having a break through. Your core is so much stronger and you have great balance while sitting. Your legs are getting stronger and you are bearing weight so much better on them, but we still have a long ways to go. Your arms are definitely the weakest. We pretty much have to remind you that they are there and prompt you to grab for something. You are getting lots better at reaching for things now if only you would put some weight on them we would be good to go. I can't wait for you to start moving around. Not sure when that will be, but I am excited.

You are such a fun little boy. You love to shake your head no no and you think it's the funniest thing ever! The first couple times you did it we applauded you and wanted you to do it over and over again. After you figured out when to use like when it's time to eat it wasn't so cute any funny any more to me, but you sure thought it was. You will only do your business in a clean diaper. I try all the time to hold out a little longer, because I know it's coming and you insist on a clean one. We found out in speech a couple weeks ago that you LOVE Elmo. You were laughing so hard during Elmo's world. Lucky you that you go to speech so much and miss Jenny lets you watch it.

I love your "Mom are you kidding me another picture" look. Carter I love you so much. More than you will probably ever know. You are definitely a lot of work, but I try so hard not to complain. After all I begged and pleaded with Heavenly Father to let me keep you. When Doctors were giving us statistics of 10% chance survival rate I told him I would do anything for you and for the chance to raise you. I hold true to that promise and I will do anything for you no matter what it takes. You are and will always be our little/big miracle boy. Thank for all that you have taught me. I feel like I am learning who I am and who I am supposed to be through your journey. I am so glad I'm your Mom.