Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The last couple days

I think I have started this post about 4 times and have never finished it. Where to begin it has been quite the roller coaster. I don't think that my brain will allow me to do a normal post so I will just list some things that I want to remember.

- Carter was taken off the ventilator on Monday and put on the C-pap nasal canula. This was a big step and one that seemed too good to be true.
- Today he was put back on the ventilator, because he was very pale and didn't have much movement. He also was having a hard time getting the oxygen to all parts of his body. He has done a lot better being back on the vent and they have given him some medicine called Bicard to help him distribute the oxygen better. He is breathing at 21% which is room air.
- When he was first admitted to the NICU he had very low blood pressure. Within 32 hours of being on medication it was back to normal and he has been able to hold it better.
- He also had high blood sugar and with medication he was back to normal within 42 hours.
- His feeding has been all over the place. First they started him on 2 ml every four hours and then they bumped it up to every three hours. Then he started to spit up and wasn't handling them as well so they lowered him to 1 ml every three hours. Tonight they stopped his feedings completely due to some medication he is on.
-They are concerned he might have some sort of infection so they have started him on antibiotics.
-They noticed today that he had a heart murmur so they did an echocardiogram. The results came back that he has a hole in his heart. They started him on medication tonight and will do it for three days. After-which they will do another echo to see if it has closed. If it hasn't they can do one more round of the medication and if it doesn't work again we will talk about surgery.
-He peed and pooped on me once when I was changing his diaper. I loved it. It almost felt normal.
-He is still on the billy lights, but they hope within the next couple days he will be off them.
-I heard him cry for the first time yesterday. It was only about 3 seconds, but the cutest thing ever. We wont be hearing any crying for a while because on the vent you cant hear any noise he makes due to it being down his throat.
-It feels like they are poking and prodding him all day long. Breaks my heart.
-He looked very sick today. He is getting so skinny. Today he weighed 1 pound 13.6 ounces.

As for the rest of us we are hanging in there. Boston has been a little champ and doing so great at going potty again. I got discharged yesterday and he has loved having me home. I am pretty sure he would ride his bike all day long if we let him. I was so excited to get out of the hospital, but the second I walked out the doors I wanted to run right back in and be with Carter. I am pretty much an emotional wreck. On the verge of tears all day long. I wish there were two of me so I could be with both my babies all day. I cry about good and bad news with carter. I cry when Boston says cute things. Like the time he climbed in Carters crib and told me that when Carter comes home he is going to hold him and sing to him in his bed. He them proceeded to sing I love to see the temple and told me he was going to tell him we will be a family forever. I cry because I am so sore from my C-section and not healing as fast as I did with Boston. My Doctor keeps reminding me that is was a violent one due to the situation. I just want to be able to move normal and play with Boston. I cry because I am so tired and I wish that when I was getting up at night to pump I was actually able to feed Carter. I cry because Trav is so amazing and I love him more than I knew was possible. Trav somehow is being super man. He works so hard and so long, but still manages to be the most amazing Dad and Husband ever! I can't believe all that everyone has done for us from food, gas cards, rides to the hospital, watching Boston, cleaning our house, and so much more. It really is so overwhelming and we are so grateful. To say we wish we could fast forward a couple months might be an understatement. I sure do love my family and am so blessed to have them. I can't imagine going through this without them and especially with out our Heavenly Father. We feel him so close and even though this is the hardest thing we have ever gone through he still is able to comfort us.

16 comments:

Unknown said...

oh, I hope he continues to do well! good luck! love you!

Britanee Walker said...

you are an incredibly strong woman Teresa. i'm so sorry that he lost some weight (that'd be so scary for me) and that he had to go back on the vent. we're praying that he keeps improving. we're praying for you, Trav & Boston as well. we love you guys

Nicole said...

Teresa- I can't believe all you have been through and the journey still ahead! I can't even imagine all you must be going through! Good luck! You're in our prayers. I'll just think of you every time I want to complain about being pregnant myself, b/c I have it cake in comparison. Hang in there little mommy!

Janae and Bil Bil said...

Teresa, I had no idea any of this happen. This post made me cry. My students think I am crazy. You are so strong and such an inspiration to me. I am praying for you and your family!

Brandon, Emily & Sydney Wilson said...

Hi Teresa....thanks for the close up walk through your life right now in that post. Every time you talked about crying and why I couldn't help but cry too. I so wish we lived closer to you guys and that I could come see the little guy and relieve you for a bit. Ever since our visit to you in the hospital Sydney has been pretending to be pregnant and laying in a hospital bed (shoving babies up her shirts) and both girls constantly carry around dolls they've named baby Carter, or in Ellie's case baby "Quarter". We pray for Carter all day in every prayer we offer. Hang in there...you're doing awesome. Thanks for sharing the details. love you.

kelsey and murray said...

oh teres- i love you and your family. thanks for the update. i think about you so much everyday. i admire how strong you are- sure love you.

dahlstrom.terri said...

One day at a time sweetheart - sometimes one minute at a time... You won't be asked to do anything you can't handle and someday (soon I hope) this will all be a memory. Take time to heal from your surgery because you can't take care of others unless you're healthy first. Love you, pray for you, and hope all things good for you and yours. Aunt Terri

Kelly said...

gosh, Teres. I am so sorry. I wish so badly that I could be there to cry with you. I cant even imagine how hard this must be. Remember that things will get better. Heavenly Father is on your side and he is all powerful. I love you so much. Stay strong k? Promise. you are doing so great. I dont know of anyone else who could do a better job. You are presented with only situations He knows that you can handle.

xoxoxox

emily+brett said...

you are amazing. you are in our prayers! hope everything keeps going well and little carter can keep getting stronger and stronger.

Kylie Blackwell said...

I cry reading your post. You are going through so much right now. I am thinking about ya all the time and just can't believe how strong you are. You are stronger then you know because you have been blessed with such a special little guy.
It breaks my heart when you say you were two people, I can only imagine, and even then can't begin to wrap my mind around it.
Your amazing to me! Keep it up.
We are praying for you guys and sweet little Carter!

jenna said...

teresa you are in our prayers.
i have to say it touched me that you bid on BGB all while this was going on. your heart is so big.

i know you'll get through this. please let me know if there is anything i can do!
xo

DebbieD said...

I'm crying with you. Hang in there. You are being super mom. You've been in my thoughts & prayers.

tiffany said...

Keep taking it all one day at a time. You are amazing. You are in our thoughts and prayers. love you guys!

Mary Ann P said...

I love you Teresa more than you know. I have always known what an amazing gal you were/are!!! Stay strong and keep the faith. We are praying for your family here in MN. xoxo Aunt MA

Nate and Lynlee said...

I am constantly amazed by your faith. You give us strength, simply by reading your blog. You are truly inspiring.

McGiven Family.... said...

He is so precious! I think about you and little Carter all the time. I hope the good news keeps coming and that he is able to grow quickly and time will fly. Hang in there.