Words can't describe

This moment...

To be honest I was so nervous at first. All the transferring of wires, tubes, machines, and what not got me a little stressed. After I relaxed I enjoyed three hours of bliss. I can't believe how tiny he is. I absolutely loved holding him and inspecting his head (still can't get over the dark hair I love it), little hands and fingernails, his eyelashes, his scars from heart surgery, his little feet, and absolutely everything about him. It was the first time in his three weeks of life that I got an up close and personal look at my boy. He really is a miracle everything is so perfect. I am one very happy/blessed Momma today.

People are always shocked that he was 14 inches long at birth. Here he is all stretched out to show off his long limbs.

So dang cute

How cute are Carters little hands in this picture? They actually aren't that little I guess compared to the rest of him. He has big hands like Daddy and Brother. Carter continues to do very well. They have gone down on his vent settings each day. His chest x-rays kook great and he is tolerating his feedings great. Yesterday he weighed the most he has since birth 2 pounds 3.6 ounces. The day before he was 1 pound 15 ounces so we were shocked. The weight mostly came from the two blood transfusions. He will continue to fluctuate over the next couple days, but after that hopefully it will just be up.

Santa

Both boys got to see Santa this year. Boston was beyond excited, Carter could gave cared less. Ha. There are no real pictures of Boston with Santa, because there is no way I am going to pay fifteen bucks for a single picture. He wasn't nervous at all to go up and see the big guy. He told him he was a good boy and he wanted a scooter. A local fire station sent in some guys to come see all the babies in the NICU an give them a little present. Boston thought Carters pooh bear was pretty cool.

Update

Carter is doing pretty well today. His oxygen levels have been between 32-45. Dr. Santiago said they usually do really well the first couple hours after surgery and then everything starts to settle in. The next couple days will be pretty rough on Carter. We are anxious to have them behind us and start moving forward. He had two blood transfusions today and hopefully wont need them anymore. The nurses said they wouldn't be surprised if he was able to start eating again tomorrow since he has been pretty stable. I don't know if I mentioned or not that last week he had his big head scan and they found that he had a level two brain bleed. He had another scan today to check on it and there was kinda a mixed report that is might have spread a little on the right side, but then the other end of the report said that it looked as though it was improving. Needless to say we are anxious for next weeks report to find out what is going on.

I got my tube taken out today. Weirdest/sickest feeling ever. Boston is so excited that Mommies owies are all gone and that I can run fast now. I am just excited to finally be able to take a bath again and relax.

Carter's Heart Surgery

Little man before surgery. Mommy got lots of touch time with Carter. Thanks Dr. Santiago. He told me it was because Carter Sat's better when we are touching him, but I think it is because he knew I needed that time with my boy.

Today we are going in to do surgery on Carter's heart to close up the PDA. I am going try and update everything on here today as the surgery progresses. Please pray for our little guy and the doctors.

2:00- Dr. Santiago is worried that his vien's won't hold up during surgery and for everything after. He suggest trying to get in a picc line again. If they aren't successful getting it in they will have to surgically insert one. They will make an incision in his neck and chest. We really hope they can get the picc line in so that Carter doesn't have to have more scars.

2:45- Dr. Santiago wasn't able to get the picc line in. They will surgically insert the iv during heart surgery which is scheduled for 4:00 pm.

3:00- Going back in to be with my boy before surgery. He looks great and held his Sats well during and after the picc line trial. He has been sucking on his feeding tube like crazy today. He must be so hungry going without food today and the next couple days.

5:15- The surgeon finally got here and they are going to begin surgery. The Broviac (iv tube) and heart surgery will take about 45 minutes total. Dr. Roughneen will be doing the surgery. He is the sweetest Scottish guy ever. Ashley is his nurse today I love her. Ashley said it is a good thing we are doing surgery today because he is starting to sat all over the place. He can be on the same oxygen level and sat in the low 40's when the PDA opens and then jump to sat up to 100 when it closes and it doesn't matter what settings they put him on he has to do it on his own and it is very nerve racking waiting for him to jump back up. I need to pump really bad, but that will have to wait until this is all over. Good luck Carter we sure love you.

All the Doctors and Nurses right before surgery. They did it all at his bedside so that they don't have to move him. It was pretty crazy watching them get everything sterile and ready for surgery.

6:02-
I am going crazy out here. It has been 45 minutes and haven't heard a thing. Ahhhhh!!!

6:45-
Hour and a half still no word. Making me very nervous. Keep fighting Carter.

6:50-
Dr. Finally came out. Everything went great. He held his blood pressure really well. All doctors were very pleased with how it went and said he did better than they expected. The PDA ended up being bigger than they thought so they said in a couple days he should be doing a lot better than he was before. Thank you Heavenly Father. They said he is nice and relaxed due to the muscle relaxer they gave him. Carter you are such a fighter and make mommy so proud.

10:00-
We are all home and beyond tired. Boston had a great day playing with Rene' in his words "it was so so so much funny Mommy. You should see me" Carter did very well after surgery his oxygen levels were back at room air (21%). Trav and I were totally shocked by this because we haven't seen his level in the 20's for over a week. Way to go Carter you are such a fighter.

Little Carter after surgery. Completely knocked out and doing great. The tube on his right side is the Broviac tube. His heart surgery was done on his back on the left side. I love this little peanut so much and feel so blessed to be his Mommy.

The power of Prayer is real. Thank you everyone for your love, thoughts, and prayers. We feel blessed beyond measure and have been so humbled by this whole experience. We hope to someday return the favor to all of you. Our Heavenly Father has been so close to us through all this and we know that because of our Savior Jesus Christ we will be able to get through this no matter what is in store for us. We love you all.

The last week

Cant believe it's been a week since I last updated. To say this past week has been a little crazy is an understatement. I don't really remember what all happened So I will just update what we are all doing.



(cute little hairy boy sucking on his bink)

Carter-
He has had a pretty good week. Things have been stable, but not progressing. We never ended up doing the picc line because he started to eat alot moreand they thought they could do without it. He is up to full feeds 15ml or half an ounce. He tolerates them really well and is able to digest things great. His heart/pda has been slowly digressing back to where it was before the first round of medication. He has been swinging all over the place on his oxygen levels. The doctor thinks this is do to his PDA. He also started to cough up blood in his ventilator. They were worried that it might be a pulmonary hemmorage, but thankfully his x-rays have shown that it isn't. They are not sure why he is bleeding, but think it is either from irritation from the ventilator or there is a small tear in his throat that might have come from when they had to put a new tube in.
The plan going forward is to do heart surgery tomorrow to close up the hole in his heart. We are so nervous for this, but ready to do it because it isn't allowing him to progress. They will have to completely cut off his feedings for a couple days so hopefully he will tolerate them as well after the surgery as he does now. They said the first couple days after the surgery can be very difficult for him. The doctor told us it will definitely set us back, but will hopefully help him spring forward. Please pray for our little guy and the doctors.






(dad really is your favorite)


(tugging on your vent. Dad and I thought you actually looked a little chubby in this picture. As chubby as a two pounder can look)


(you always manage to kick your legs out and relax. Boston did that when he was in the NICU too)

Boston-
What can I say, but this little guy keeps us laughing. He definitely knows how to make us smile when times are tuff. Speaking of tuff, Boston can be really tuff these days. Poor little guy is so confused. We feel so bad for him and wish we could help him make sense of all this. Some things that always make him happy are donut runs with dad, his bike and scooter, Rene' days (my friend that watches him he LOVES her)



(Boston is a sprikles only kinda donut boy)

Trav-
Somehow he is still able to be superman. I don't know how he does it, but he does it well. It was so nice to have him home for a long weekend. Poor guy is crazy busy this time of year at work trying to get in all the year end stuff. I know feel torn wanting to be two places I can't imagine how he feels being gone all day. I love him so much he is my rock. There is no way I could make it through this without him.

Me-
This past week was pretty crazy. I was still pretty annoyed that I wasn't healing as fast. On Wednesday I was in with Carter and it hurt so bad to stand up that I decided I would just walk over to my Doctors and have him check it out. They took me right back and found that I had a cyst that ruptured on my ovary. They were concerned that I might have appendicitis also and told me to come bad Thursday morning to check on it. That night we took Boston to see Santa and I was not feeling very good at all. Later that night I started to throw up and felt awful. I had cold sweats all night and was anxious to go to the doctor to figure it out. We went back in on Thursday morning and he sent me down to the ER to get a CT scan and figure out what was up. Long story short I ended up having surgery to remove some infection from the cyst, infection from an abses on my appendix and a hematoma. When all was said and done it was Thursday evening and tomorrow was Christmas eve. My doctor told me that I would be in the hospital 48-72 hours. I told him that one of the bright sides of me being out of the hospital was that I could spend Christmas at home with my family so he better figure out how to get me out of here tomorrow. Christmas eve came and I was in quite a bit of pain, but feeling great otherwise. My doctor came in and checked me out and said do you want to go home? I started to cry and said c-ya. At this point it wasn't even 24 hours after surgery and I could not be happier to be home. The first couple days after I was pretty sore, but now I feel better than I did before the surgery. I get my drain out on Tuesday and then hopefully I will be all done with me and the hospital.

MY DEAR TERESA

Dear Teresa

As I sit daily watching you do all that you do I am so amazed. I try so hard to lesson your burdens each day but you just seem to press on. You are such a fighter. Our Heavenly Father has really blessed us with you in our lives. You have really taught all of us what the true meaning of Having Faith is. I have never met anyone that is so positive as you are. You take each day as if this is going to be the best day ever. Even when you know it is going to be a tough one. I know it is hard to spread your self so thin. But you always seem to make it work buy giving of your self and love to Boston, Travis and our little Carter. They are so lucky to have you for a mom and wife. But I am even more lucky to have you as my daughter.

Last night as Travis and I were visiting Carter I said look he really knows Grandma D is here. Travis said good try he opens his eyes every time I am here. I let Travis know that he does open his eyes when I come and know one else is here. I like to think that he really does know his Grandma when I come in the room. He is truly a sweet spirit of our heavenly Father. The is a reason he is here. He has a great purpose on this earth. I know it and we all know it cuz he is such a fighter and wants to get out and see what the world is all about. I love him so much and am so grateful that I am able to be here by his side, by your side and Travis and Boston's side too. Know that I love you so much and will be with you every step of the way. Know that you don't even have to ask because I will already be there waiting to go and do what ever you need to do. Please Teresa don't think for a minute you have to do it all. I am here, Travis parents are here and so are so many friends. We all love you and will be here for you through prays, phone calls, visits what ever your need is.

Thank you for being the daughter you are to me and for all you have taught me as you go through your trails in life. I love you so much!

Love,

Mom

XOXOXO