Polar Express Christmas Party

Last week was Boston's Christmas party at school. I always love going to his school and watching him with his friends. They did a Polar Express party which meant he got to wear his pajamas. He talked about it for days leading up to it. They did a cute little program and sang lots of Christmas songs. I'm pretty sure Boston enjoyed all the props they used more than actually singing songs. He sure LOVES preschool!

(Boston getting ready for his program. Sitting on Santa's lap)

(Boston and his buddy Owen. Their teacher calls them "two peas in a pod")

(Boston with his present he made for me. Ice Skating on paper plates. Playing Merry Christmas Jingo)

Happy FIRST Birthday Carter Boy

Dear Carter Boy,

I can't believe you are a year old! Although some days felt like months now that it is here it feels like it went so quick. So much has happened in the last year and you have been amazing through it all. I think all the time about all that you have to do each day and it really amazes me. Your days are pretty jam packed with appointments, breathing treatments, feeding trials, therapy, and whatever else we have going on that most babies I am pretty sure would be so grumpy, but your not. You really are the most mellow and happy little guy. You bring such a special spirit in our home and we feel beyond blessed to have you in our family.

I am pretty sure that your big brother is your biggest fan. Heavenly Father knew exactly what he was doing when he gave you Boston as an older brother. I can't tell you enough how great he is to you. He is so patient with you and "helps" you do so much! He is so patient with the all the time that your stuff requires. Ever since you learned to sit up this last month he has been on cloud nine! He asks to "play" with you all the time now. In fact he wants me to leave you two alone to play and always tell me that he will "keep an eye on you". I hope that you guys will always be best of friends and the bond you have now will never leave.

Have I ever told you that you have the biggest, bluest, prettiest eyes ever! My favorite time is when you are in the bath and your eyelashes are wet so you can see how long they are. Pretty much you should know that I am a sucker for your eyes. People always mention that when you really look at them they feel like you can see right inside them. There have been so many times in your life that I wish I could see what you see, because even though you don't speak your eyes tell so much. You have been blessed many times to have angels watching over you and I can't count the times that I knew someone was with you by just looking in your eyes. Have I ever mentioned that your hair is SO curly and grows SO fast. We have given you I think six hair cuts. We only trim the top, because I just grows into this big wave curl thing and I'm sure if we kept you would look back someday and ask what we were thinking.

O and that smile. Well it gets me too. I love your gummy no teeth (by the way when are those darn teeth going to come? I swear you have been "teething" for months!) drooly grin. You give smiles so freely and we do anything for them. That cute mouth of your has come a long way. You used to not let anything touch your mouth. You will now bring almost everything to your mouth. If only we could get you to swallow a little bit more of the things that I put in your mouth. We have started baby food and I am pretty sure you love the taste of it, but you don't love it in your mouth if that's even possible. You are doing so much better on your bottle. We have introduced you to a sippy cup and for about a week you did amazing with it. Not sure why, but you suddenly decided that you didn't like it anymore. At speech we have been working on both the bottle and sippy cup as well as baby food. Just last week we tried giving you drinks from a cup and once you actually got the milk in your mouth you were a fan of that. Now if you could just make up your mind of which method you prefer to be fed we would be doing good. You are pretty much still on a newborn feeding schedule, being fed every three hours and on a continuous feed during the night. You have definitely chunked up lately so I think we will start weaning the night feed because we were only using it to beef you up.

A funny story that I think totally sums up your life was one day in PT your therapist was trying to get you to do something and put a big, loud, bright toy in front of you and you could have cared less. I then put your suction tube in front of you and you literally dove for it. You don't have much interest in toys, but you LOVE your tubes. Is that why you won't let the O2 go is because you like the tube? Speaking of PT I think we are finally having a break through. Your core is so much stronger and you have great balance while sitting. Your legs are getting stronger and you are bearing weight so much better on them, but we still have a long ways to go. Your arms are definitely the weakest. We pretty much have to remind you that they are there and prompt you to grab for something. You are getting lots better at reaching for things now if only you would put some weight on them we would be good to go. I can't wait for you to start moving around. Not sure when that will be, but I am excited.

You are such a fun little boy. You love to shake your head no no and you think it's the funniest thing ever! The first couple times you did it we applauded you and wanted you to do it over and over again. After you figured out when to use like when it's time to eat it wasn't so cute any funny any more to me, but you sure thought it was. You will only do your business in a clean diaper. I try all the time to hold out a little longer, because I know it's coming and you insist on a clean one. We found out in speech a couple weeks ago that you LOVE Elmo. You were laughing so hard during Elmo's world. Lucky you that you go to speech so much and miss Jenny lets you watch it.

I love your "Mom are you kidding me another picture" look. Carter I love you so much. More than you will probably ever know. You are definitely a lot of work, but I try so hard not to complain. After all I begged and pleaded with Heavenly Father to let me keep you. When Doctors were giving us statistics of 10% chance survival rate I told him I would do anything for you and for the chance to raise you. I hold true to that promise and I will do anything for you no matter what it takes. You are and will always be our little/big miracle boy. Thank for all that you have taught me. I feel like I am learning who I am and who I am supposed to be through your journey. I am so glad I'm your Mom.

Birthday Celebrations!

Although Carter deserved a full blown invite everyone on the planet kind of party we kept it very low key. Only including our fam of four and Grandma D. gotta keep those germs away. Trav was busy with tithing settlement most of the day at church and since Carter had no idea what was going on we put the celebrating on hold till that night.

Boston and I, well mainly Boston decorated his "monster people" cupcakes.

Carter getting sang Happy Birthday by his cousins. He LOVED it!

Carter...I mean Boston opening Carter's presents. Boston was so sweet with him, like he always is and literally helped him open his presents. Carter liked hitting the wrapping paper and like most one year olds could have cared less what was inside.

Some of his presents. Pretty much if Boston thought it was cool then Carter thought it was great! He smiles at and laughs at anything his brother does. I love it!

We had NO idea how Carter would do with his "cake". He is still pretty aversive to most things going in his mouth especially food so we were completely shocked when he went to town on the frosting. I am thinking we should just fill his bottles full of it. I didn't even put a bib on him because I was so sure he wasn't going to have anything to do with it. He liked his fingers clean for a good ten minutes and then he was DONE! We were pretty ecstatic that he even put it in his mouth and even more that he liked it.

Santa or Janta?

Can't you tell we are all beyond happy

I know I say it all the time how much I love all Carter's nurses and Doctor's from the NICU, but holy smokes they are awesome! David (remember the one that we had to have at all the surguries and what not) was our favorite RT while we were there. A couple months back he offered to come over as Santa since we wouldn't be able to take Carter anywhere to see one. (have I mentioned that he isn't allowed to go enywhere but doc appointments? we pretty much will be living in a hole for the next four months) Anyways it was AWESOME!!!! The look on Boston's face when Santa came to HIS house was priceless! It has definitely been the talk around these parts from a certain three year old. He will randomly say "Mom I just can't believe Santa came to MY house to see me and Carter. I just can't believe it!" Rumor has it he has been talking it up at school too. It's probably the cutest thing ever! Pretty much we all think it was the greatest thing ever!

Boston with Santa's or Janta because he's Jewish little girl. We had a good laugh when he told us he went by Janta. Seriously he is so great!

Grandma D with the boys

Family Pic with Santa

Carter was not too sure about Santa. Not scared at all just really confused.

Boston on the other had was not the least bit afraid. He made sure to tell Santa that he wanted a race track for Christmas.

December 1st

I don't think I am a very superstitious person, but I am starting to think that December 1st might be a day where I should just lay low. The 5 previous years something bad has always happened on December 1st. I have been rear-ended, had back spasms, been in a car totaling accident, put on bed rest, and whatever else. Three times I ended up in the hospital on that day twice while being pregnant. Weird. This year for months we have said that we were going to stay in hiding, but I guess life must go on or at least Doctors appointments must. Thankfully this year we were safe. We actually had a great day and even better night. Buddy the elf made his grand entrance. We had waffles and hot chocolate for dinner. Boston also got to open the much anticipated Lego advent calendar from G & G Wilson. By the way if you have boys old enough this is a must next year SO cool. I guess December 1st isn't so bad after all... I think. O and we're thinking of keeping Buddy year round. Boston has been absolutely charming lately. Considering that fact I was ready to pull my hair out every day a month ago this is a huge feat and I think we owe it all to Buddy.

Lego Calendar. Pretty cool if you ask me.

Carter loving the wrapping paper.

Boston learned about Buddy's magic after he touched him. Not sure what the backpack was all about that night.

Boston and Carter's letter from Santa.

Gosh I sure do love these Boy's!

In need of some Good News

To say we have needed some good news around here would be an understatment. It feels like we have had nothing but bad new for a while. Well on Tuesday we recieved the best news ever!!!!

Carter's Vocal Chord has MOVEMENT!!!!!!

We went in to the ENT for a routine check up. He wasn't even going to scope him because we did it two months ago and there was absolutely NOTHING going on down there. Thankfully our pulminologist had some questions about the position his chord was paralyzed in so we decided to do the scope. Doctor Rohn put the cord down his throat and when I saw a HUGE smile on his face I seriously busted out in a full blown air guitar dance because I knew exactly what the smile was about. He pulled the cord out and joined me in dance. I would have loved to have seen that on film. Dr. Rohn has been with us from the beginning and knows how big of a deal this is. He is an incredible Doctor and a genuine guy and really shares in our happiness. He said that he was "ecstatic" with what he saw. He also said "it definitely wasn't having a party or anything, but it was moving". He said with what he saw he has no reason to believe that it will get nothing but better from here. We also noted in the visit that Carter has had fluid in his ears for a month straight and two ear infections meaning he will most likely need tubes. The nurse was cracking up that I was smiling when I told her no big deal do surgery. She must have forgotten what we had just heard.

I haven't been very good at the details of everything going on, only because I feel like there is no time. So to back up a little When we saw no movement a couple months a go there was mention of Carter needing to have vocal chord repair surgery. It is very invasive and has way too many scary side effects to talk about. At the time he was only able to use his speaking valve for a very short time. Since then he has built up a better tolerance and also has made some small improvement with his feeding. It definitely made me feel lots better about all the time we spend at speech therapy doing Vital Stim. It has helped a tiny bit with the quantity of how much he actually takes, but has obviously helped A LOT with his vocal chord! This deosn't completely rule out surgery, but gives us lots of hope that it wont be needed.

* Side note Carter has had two blood gasses since being discharged from the hospital. Both were nothing to brag about. He is borderline needing to go on CPAP during the night. The pulminologist said that he will give him till the new year to work out the rest of the Metapneumovirus, the nasty virus he had while in the hospital. At that point we will do another gas and if it hasn't improved we will be admitted to our children's house and put on CPAP. He is hoping since the virus was such a bad one that time will heal him. We have seen many times what time can do and pray that it will benefit him this time too. Praying for a gas in the 40's.

The ONE time I ran 10 miles

(ignore the morning china eyes)

A couple months before Thanksgiving I decided that I wanted to do something for myself and for whatever reason I decided that would be to run in the Turkey Trot Thanksgiving morning. Trav and I were both going to do it. We would take turns each night to go run and train. I got up to 5 miles and then Carter got sick and there was absolutely no running going on at our house. The Turkey Trot I signed up for was an 8 miler. I figured what the heck I ran 5 miles and felt mostly good I could do three more. Thanksgiving morning came and I couldn't believe I was about to do it with not running at all for three weeks. Trav stayed home with the boys and I headed up with my Mom. Long story short I ended up running 10 miles and surprisingly to me was able to do it at a 10min/mile pace the whole time (slow poke I know). It was aweful!!! My body actually felt fine, but I had some serious head battles going on. I kept telling myslef the whole time how aweful this was. I seriously thought about cutting it short a million times. After all was said and done I thought the fact that I went 10 miles was pretty great, but that was it. There was nothing I enjoyed about that experience well besides the fact that I was with my Mom and she LOVES stuff like that. So to all you people who say just start running or complete a race and you will be addicted your CRAZY!!! I obviously need to work on the head part of this whole running thing seeing as I am signed up for a 1/2 marathon in June. For my Mom's 50th B-day she wants all her kids to complete a race with her. She will be doing the full which pretty safe to say I will never do. She rocks!

Ha do I look like death or what crossing that finish line. ;)

Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving this year was awesome! Having Carter home made all the better. We have SO MUCH to be grateful for and not a day goes by that we don't give thanks for it. We went over to Trav's brothers house for dinner. I did a poor job of taking pictures because we were busy keeping Carter away from everyone. It was great to be together as a family for a couple hours since we spent most of our week apart keeping little man home.

We were lucky enough to have these two in town for the holiday. I can't say it enough they are simply amazing! They have been beyond generous with their time and money coming out here. They probably are or at least should be part owners of Virgin America Airlines with how many times they have flown out here the past year. As always Boston LOVED the attention and made sure to let me know on many occasions the he "just wants to spend more time with Grandma". Pretty much his nice way of saying Mom get out here. Love that boy.

We have been so blessed this past year! I am most thankful for my family. Trav is an incredible Husband and Father. We work really well together and he sacrifices so much for our family. I love him more now than ever before. My two boys are everything to me! I really can't imagine my life without them. I feel beyond blessed to be their Mother. Above all I am thankful for my Father in Heaven who has blessed me with far more than I deserve.

Lights Up

One thing I was very excited about when we bought our house was to put Christmas lights up. I know kinda lame, but I was excited none the less. Last year it didn't happen so I made sure it did this year. We took advantage of Carter being in the hospital one Saturday morning and busted it out. It was definitely one of those projects where you start all excited and mid project you just do your work in silence because it isn't going quite as planned. Does this happen to anyone else? Anyways they turned out great. Trav did an awesome job even with a ladder that was pretty dang sketchy. Maybe next year we will tackle the trees and bushes.

Birthday's

Way back in November Trav and I both celebrated our Birthday's. Having Carter in the Hospital definitely put on damper on our moods to celebrate. With everything going on we kept them both very low key and just enjoyed being together. We both always comment that the past year has definitely been the hardest of each of our lives and because of it we feel about ten years older. Here's to better Birthday's next year!

Thanksgiving Beast

The week before thanksgiving Boston has his Thanksgiving Beast (Feast) and little program at school. I always love to go and see him with his friends at school. He was hilarious during their little program. He was straight faced the whole time and didn't do too many of the motions, but he difinitely knew the words. Hilarious! As for the Feast part he could care less about most all thanksgiving foods. I thing he ended up having a roll and peice of pumpkin pie. Typical Boston eating.

Little Harts Preschool Thanksgiving 2011

Grandma Haymond

During the time Carter was in the hospital my Grandma Haymond (Mom's Mom) came in to town to visit us. Before everything with Carter happened my Mom and I had some fun things planned. Thank goodness Grandma is always up for anything and easy going, because we sure didn't venture out that much at all. She got stuck with Boston a lot while I went back and forth to the Hospital. Boston was in heaven. He loved having someone to give him 100% of their attention.

We were able to head up to Galleria to do some shopping and see the huge tree.

I LOVE this picture. Grandma was also great to sit with the little man at the hospital when I had other things I needed to do.

Grandma and Boston making a Ginger Bread house.

Reading books and coloring.

Do we look alike? Ha kinda scary how much I am starting to look like these two. I blame the aging on the past year. Yowza!

Playing Legos

It was so much fun to have her here. It's always nice to have company just for a change of pace, because I can promise you that we definitely are not the most fun people to visit with our crazy schedule. I have so many memories with my Grandma growing up and I was so glad that Boston got to spend some one on one time with her and finally put a face to this Grandma Haymond he always hears about. My Grandma is such an amazing women. I have always had a great relationship with her and I feel as though the older I have gotten the better it has got. She was always so good to listen to me ramble on my to and from the hospital when Carter was in the NICU. She always gave great advice and was never afraid to cry with me and tell me that what we were going through really was not that great, but at the same time would remind me of all the tender mercies we were given. I love her so much!