24 Weeks 4 Days

Wahoo for another day! Today my emotions have been all over the place. I have definitely gone from one end of the spectrum to the other. I was about to go out and give the nurses a little word last night they were so loud! I wanted to remind them that most people sleep at night. It seriously sounded like they were having a Christmas party out there. With that said I probably woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I was so sad this morning and missed Boston so much. Then around ten they were monitoring the baby and I all the sudden got so hot and dizzy. Next thing I know I was throwing up like crazy and continued to do so for about an hour. They gave me some zofran and I was able to stop, but still felt nausea's until around six. They wouldn't let me eat anything and could hardly drink at all. I was starving, but at the same time nothing sounded good. Finally I was able to eat some saltine crackers and a shake. I felt so much better. My Doctor came in and said jokingly that I hadn't kept the rules very well today with my throwing up, coughing and when he came in i sneezed twice. Whoops. My visiting teachers came over and it was so nice to visit with each other.



On another note Boston took a great nap today and therefor had such a great night. Trav said it was so good to have our happy boy back. I am sure it has nothing to do with the fact that Grandma is spoiling him like crazy!








From what I hear the pack n play has been a big hit at home. Not sure why, but he has been loving to play in it. Whatever makes him happy.
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24 Weeks 3 Days

Today was another pretty good day. I am starting to think that by the time I leave this place I am going to be a nut case. Really being flat on your back 24 hours a day can make you a little crazy. Obviously this is where I want and need to be, but I can't help but think. My hair is falling out like a crazy. I am for sure going to need a good hair cut once I get out of here. I have been debating if I should grow my hair out again and well hopefully I will have at least two months of healthy (meaning no blow dryer and flat iron) growing behind me.

The baby looks great again today. I have had a couple contractions mostly due to having a full boater. I don't know if I will continue to blog everyday because well not much goes on and not much has changed which is all good. Wednesdays are the big day where I get ultrasounds and all the checkups done so I will for sure post then.

In the mean time this is what happens to Boston in the car



Poor guy is so exhausted. He is having such a hard time. He and Trav could definitely use your prayers. I can help but think about how heavy a weight this is for them. I know there isn't much that I can do to help, but I wish so bad there was.

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24 Weeks 2 Days

Another day down! Today was a good day. I had quit a few visitors which always makes time go by faster. One of the best parts of the day was when the priests came to the hospital and gave me the sacrament. Something about seeing those boys come over here to do that just for me and seeing there genuine concern for me made me all the more excited to have boys. I pray that I will be able to raise mine to be just as great. Then of course tonight ended great when Trav and I got to spend some time together just the two of us. I really miss the nights that we would just sit and stare at the TV both completely exhausted from the day. We also were able to read the scriptures together again tonight, which is something that neither of us have been able to do the last couple days together because our brains have been too crazy to focus.

The baby has been one very active boy today. I seriously was a little worried that he was kicking too hard. This place has got me terrified to sneeze, laugh too hard, or cough so I thought for sure the kicking would do me in. They took me off the antibiotics today in hopes that me stomach would settle down. My doctor said that usually he can get a week out of his patients on the medicine before it does them in. I am a weakling when it comes to antibiotics they always kill my stomach. I have been really nausea's and dizzy today. I was afraid I was going to throw up, but luckily good ole milk of magnesia and a great home cooked meal came to the rescue. I missed my little man today so much. We decided that he needed a day to just be home and see if it would help him out. He did so much better going potty and seemed to be very happy having Daddy and Grandma's full attention today. Not saying he was a charm today because I think it was still ruff, but I do think being home was good for him.

People keep asking me how I am making it through this. My only answers are of course my family and faith and hope. I remember the day I got checked in Trav and I just kept telling each other we have got to have faith. A friend of my sister in laws had their little guy at 23 weeks. I remember I had Boston a couple months after he was born and I remember how crazy everything was for them, but always being so in awe with how great they were doing and how strong they were. They told me hope proceeds faith, faith proceeds miracles, and miracles do happen. I have hope in a miracle and faith in my Heavenly Father that he knows what's best. My old relief society president came by today and left me some talks that she was using in her lesson today. One talk was " A more excellent hope" by Elder Russell M. Nelson. A lot of things stood out to me in the talk, but my favorite quote is "A more excellent hope is mightier than an wistful hope. Hope fortified by faith and charity, forges a force as strong as steel. Hope becomes an anchor to the soul." I feel like I am anchored by hope and have no doubt that however this turns out my faith has become stronger and therefore my hope has increased. Hope is essential to faith and faith is essential to hope.

24 Weeks 1 Day

The facts...
RN- Jane/day Treesa/night
Babies heart rate- 143-150
Uterus- no contractions

Today was another great but hard day for me. I feel like I have been crying all day. Both because I miss being with my family so much and because I can feel the spirit so close and am overwhelmed with how much love I feel. I just want to be with Trav and Boston all day, but we don't want it to get to the point that he doesn't want to come here. He is having a hard time with all this and doesn't really understand what is going on and why Mommy can't run around with him. He has been reverting back on the potty training which is hard because he refuses to wear a pull up. Things like that make it hard to not be there and he is just completely exhausted. I feel so bad for him.

I spent the day addressing our Christmas cards and watching football. It was kinda lonely, but ended great! Trav, Bobo, my Mother in law, and both Travs brothers and their family came to visit. We enjoyed pizza and my nephews sang me a Christmas song they sang today at the nativity, which just made me cry again. Emily painted my toes and brought a couple things that will be really useful. It was so good to see everyone and spend time with them. Thank you B and Em for coming up and for all you did for us we really appreciate it. After everyone left my Mom got off work and she came over and we watched a chick flick.



When Boston is here he usually wants to spend all his time out playing with all the hospitals toys. It took all his cousins leaving for him to come sit with me. Even though it is only for a couple minutes I LOVE it! I can't stop thinking about how all this is effecting him and it breaks my heart.


I was told today that every day the baby stays inside me he will receive what would take seven days out here. So really every single day is such a huge blessing. I can't begin to express how hard this all is, but our family has been blessed more than I could have ever imagined in these last four days. I feel like Trav and I have such a deeper love and appreciation for each other. I thought he was amazing before, but now I can't even think of a word for how great I really think he is.

The not so good...
Saturdays are hard I miss the family day
My antibiotics are killing my stomach
Addressing Christmas cards didn't take near enough time
Have I mentioned hospital food?
Having three bloody noses because the air is so dry in here

The good and great!
All my family visiting
My mini fridge stocked with food that actually sounds good
Got some new pjs and t-shirts that are cute and comfy
A fresh pine wreath in my room that smells so good
My back is feeling so much better
Falling asleep to friends episodes

Thank you again for all your thoughts and prayers we really appreciate them.

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24 Weeks Milestone #1!!!!!

The facts...
RN- Jane/day Kari/night
Tech- Michelle
Baby heart rate- 142-150 perfect
Uterus monitor- no contractions!



Today was a good day. It was actually kinda busy. I pretty much had someone in my room almost all day. Between doctors, nurses, housekeeping, room service, and friends it was a full day. I didn't have as much time to get lost in my thoughts. Don't get me wrong I still thought about things like not being able to take Boston to see Santa, spending Christmas in the hospital, not being able to decorate the babies room, and what not, but overall a lot better than the past two days.

Today we started monitoring me and the baby twice a day which I really like. It's nice that the baby is monitored so closely because I don't stress about him as much. Knowing that the nurses are watching him throughout the day and the fact that he is moving like crazy is very comforting.

I had my first bed bath today and well let's just say I have lost all shame. I thought I exposed my self when I had Boston, well that was minimal compared to today. Ha ha. To be honest it felt great to be clean I was feeling a little stale. Besides I will take a nice shampoo anytime even if it is in an inflatable sink and all the blood is rushing to my head due to my bed being inclined.

Over all today was a pretty good day and I think the reality is all starting to set in. My head is starting to clear up, which I am sure also has to do with the fact that I actually slept last night. I feel like I will actually be able to get through this thanks to my Heavenly Father and Trav who is the most amazing man ever!!!

The not so good...
Got compression things on my legs they are so annoying, but are preventing blood clots
Being afraid to go #2 in fear of my water breaking. Sorry TMI :)
Hospital food.

The good...
Meeting milestone one
Sharps coming to visit. Love them
Talked to a lot of people today. Sorry if I haven't been able to call or text back my phone has been pretty popular these days
My Mom took Boston to the sand park and cleaned my entire house. I can just picture it and it feels good.
My mother in law got in tonight. Trav is for sure a mommas boy and I know having her here will help him de-stress a little
Ed, Xela, and they boys came by tonight and we got to enjoy chick fila
Trav and I were able to sit in my bed together and just talk. Even if it was only for fifteen minutes it was heaven.

I have so much to be grateful for that it is hard to let all craziness get in the way. I am grateful for my Heavenly Father and the love I have felt from him and for my family. We truly are so blessed and even though this is an incredible trial for us we can't doubt how glad we are that I am here and the baby and I are getting the best care we can. We appreciate all the prayers, thoughts, names in the temple, and everything else they mean more than you will ever know. Thank you thank you thank you!

23 Weeks and 6 Days

The facts...
RN- Jane/day Kari/night
Tech- Michelle
Babies heart rate- 142-147 perfect

Well we made it another day. Last night I didn't quit make it to never land. Around 1:30 am I woke up with terrible back back and could tell that my back was going to spasm. I called my nurse and we tried a heating pad which didn't get very hot and was no help at all. They then had to monitor me to make sure the pain wasn't contractions and after that they were able to call my doctor and get pain meeds. By this time it was about 5:00 am and I finally went to sleep for about two hours. So today I have just felt emotionally and physically exhausted. I had a hard day today I couldn't help but think about what Boston was doing all day. The past couple weeks with him have been really hard with changing beds, being sick and what not so I kept thinking and feeling guilty if he was having a bad day. It was so hard that I actually couldn't even call Jamie to see how nit was going. I was in an incredible amount of pain today with my back (all having to do with my previous back injury not really pregnancy related other than the flat bed rest). I was given another pain med, but we have to do everything we can to not take them so that neither myself or the baby gets addicted. My Doctor isn't worried about me so much because he won't ever allow me to take enough, but he can't control how the baby will react to them so I am trying to do completely without so we don't have to worry about that. Obviously if I feel that my back will start spasming I will take something because spasming will only make things worse. My mom brought my heating pad from home which gets really hot and that helped a lot. My hospital one actually came undone and since it was a water one I felt water leak everywhere and almost had a heart attack that my water broke.

The day was very long and I had way too much time to think, but couldn't do much at all to distract myself because I couldn't focus on anything. I know each day will get better and I really look forward to that, because wow days like today and yesterday are a lot!

The not so good today...
Got my bathroom privilege taken away and now have a lovely bedside toliet. Even though the bathroom is maybe 10 steps away from my bed my Doctor said that's 10 upright steps we eliminate
I was really hoping for shower privileges, but that isn't in the plan either. I will get bed baths two to three times a week my first one being tomorrow. I will let you know how that goes :)
I missed my boys like CRAZY!!!
Back pain is NO fun. I work so hard to keep it strong and this bed is throwing it out the window

The good...
Boston was so exhausted tonight when he came to see me that I got some great snuggles
I was able to feed Boston dinner if you count dioritos, yogurt, a hamburger bun, and a strawberry sorbet dinner. If you can't tell we aren't too concerned about his diet at this point
I am able to incline my bed a couple inches every little bit. It actually relieves some lower back pressure
Thanks to two of my best friends Boston was well taken care of and I was able to chat tonight and kinda forget about the long day. Thanks Jamie and Andrea.
Got a picture of Boston making cookies with Jamie. Bawled my eyes out, but made my day at the same time.
Trav stopped at good ole Costco and bought me a memory foam mattress cover. Can't wait to use it tomorrow. I am sure it will be heaven compared to this bed.
My brother in law brought me a braums shake. Ice cream does something magical to me I LOVE it! Thanks Ed.

Tomorrow is milestone stone number one. My nurses keep telling me we are going to have a party. I am sure it will be pretty intense :)

Thank you for your prayers they mean more than you will ever know. If you have a blog that I don't know about let me know I will have plenty of time to stalk you.

23 Weeks and 5 Days

The last 24 hours have been the biggest blur of my life. Let's start with last week... I was at the gym walking on the treadmill and started having cramps (which now I know were contractions) after about thirty minutes. I decided to go get Boston from the kids club and call my work out good. I didn't have a good feeling about it so I decided I would be done working out unless everything was ok at the doctors next week. Randomly through out the week I would have weird stomach pains that would last a couple seconds and then go away. Fast forward to December 1st When i went in around nine for my regular 24 week check up. Boston and I went back for my regular ultrasound and after the tech looked for about a minute she said O crap let me go get the doctor. He came in checked me for about a minute and said that vertically my cervix had almost completely depliciated and that I needed to do directly to the high risk specialist.

I called Trav and he immediately left work. Boston and I headed down the hall to the specialist. I knew that it was serious when the nurse took Boston and said that she would take care of him and go play with the toys. I went back with Doctor Allbert and he confirmed what my Doctor said. He said that my cervix had funneled out and that my water bag was bulging. He said at this point my only option was to be admitted to the hospital for the duration of my pregnancy.

My mom left work and came and played with Boston while Trav and I went to get registered, which was actually a joke. We were in complete shock and could barely remember our personal information. We got all checked in and for some reason when they put my hospital band on it became all to real for me.



I got settled in my room and later that night Boston and I were given priesthood blessing by Trav and my Brother in-law Ed. Before bed they gave a pretty painful shot of steroids to help the babies lungs mature at a faster rate. I was also started on antibiotics so that if my membranes strip we can hopefully avoid infection. After a long day I was given an ambien and it was off to never land.

The Plan...
The obvious plan is to stay pregnant for as long as possible. Doctor Allbert has set some milestones for us. The first being Friday were I will be 24 weeks. The babies chance of survival is 10 percent and the risk of long term effects are very high. The next milestone is 26 weeks were survival rate jumps to 50 percent and long term effect drastically drop. After that we try to reach 28 weeks were survival rate jumps again to 90 percent and long term effects are almost none. Then after that everyday just like everyday down is considered a miracle. I am on strict bed rest meaning flat on my back 24 hours a day. Use gravity to reduce any pressure down on my cervix.

Things I am grateful for today...
Priesthood Blessings
Prayer
My Mom being close
Travs work is very understanding and supportive
That I happened to have my appointment today and we could catch it before it was too late
The scar tissue on my cervix that I got from Boston that is now helping keep the little man in
Family and friends willing to do ANYTHING for us
Boston was an absolute angel during all this, which is something we hadn't seen much of lately

How am I?
To be honest today was horrible. My head is spinning a million miles a second thinking of everything under the sun. I actually feel peaceful about the baby. I am more just worried about Boston and how all this will effect him and of course Trav having to take on so much on top of work and all that he already does. I do know that we are not going through this alone and can feel my Heavenly Father close.

I am not going to be shy I would LOVE and appreciate all the prayers you are willing to give on behalf of our family. Thank you.

By the way I apologize about all the errors I am writing this on an iPad while laying flat on your back it's not that easy. I plan on writing about what is going each day so check back and feel free to comment. It can get lonely sitting alone all day and I would to hear from you.